The Gift of Gratitude, the Gift that Keeps on Giving

What is gratitude?

Gratitude to me is looking at my world with a thankful lens.  It is easy to get hung up on what is going wrong or hurdles in my life.  But, to see what is amazing and beautiful sometimes takes a focused effort.

Zooming in close or going wide with a panoramic lens makes no difference to me.  I am grateful for big and small blessings, and everything in between.  The more I am grateful for, appreciate, and acknowledge... the more I find to express gratitude for.  

It is the gift that keeps on giving.

Generally, I have found that when the times are hard, I am the most grateful for the overlooked things.  Like the voice or hug of a loved one, to the excited tail wagging welcome home from my dog, to my thoughtful friend Theo, to the strength of my mom for being superhuman.

A week like this one has me thinking of so many things I appreciate and am grateful for.  My mom has been diagnosed with cancer and the operation is in two days.  The strength and poise in which she is facing this, showcases her grit.  

One of her sisters and one of her brothers, along with her, were all diagnosed with different forms of cancer within a 15 month period of time.  As well as suffering the loss of my grandmother in the same time span.  It is incomprehensible.

As the hurdles of this week loom closer, fear is creeping in, but I'm also grateful for so much.  I am attempting to focus on gratitude, and not on so many things that are out of my control and in doctors' hands.

I am thankful for my close family.  I am grateful for the ability to write.  I am thankful for the blueberries I ate for breakfast.  I appreciate the strong women I have been blessed with in my life.

Gratitude is similar to a muscle: the more you use it the stronger it gets.  It doesn't matter if you recite the things you are grateful for on your morning commute, write in a gratitude journal, write one thank you note a day for a year, or mention your thanks in prayer form at the end of the day.  It only matters that you express your gratitude.

Can you name three things you are grateful for right now?

When A Piece of Jewelry Transforms to a Heirloom.

It was Easter, a few years ago, before dessert was brought over to the kitchen table we were gathered around.  My grandmother passed each of us cousins a jewelry box.  Each of us were given a piece of jewelry that had significance and history to our Nana.

Yesterday was the first Easter without our Nana.  It was a day filled with reminiscing and a few tears, too.  But it was the stories she told us on that Easter that still stands out to me; and her foresight to want to share and pass on the heirlooms while she still had a chance to tell us the stories and see us wearing the pieces.

At the time, she gave me a ring that belonged to her mother.  I was in my writing group at GoogleWorks that I mention in my first book, Breaking the Chains of Silence.  It started out as a group for grief and healing and turned into so much more for us.  I shared a poem in my group that I wrote, inspired by Nana sharing a story about the piece given to my sister.  It made me think, and I shared my concerns with the Tuesday night writing group that I feared my Nana did it because she knew something we didn't.  Like she knew her time was coming.

When her birthday came during the summer of 2012, I made her a framed copy of the following poem with pearls glued all around.  I also gave her a letter that she kept behind the frame.  While thinking of her, I wanted to share the poem.

PASSING IT ON

3 rows of real pearls,

So beautiful

A gift from Nana

with a story,

"Your grandfather's mother

frowned when he gave this to me

and spitefully she said,

'One pearl for every time

he'll make you cry'."

She recounts this with humor and defiance,

Personally I'd like to think

a majority of the tears

were for joyous occasions,

4 of those pearl are for

the happy tears of 

bringing a baby into this world.

And 3 more for the babies

that didn't make it,

6 more for the granddaughters,

Along with a handful more

on days we made her proud.

One more for her wedding day

since she's such a sentimental romantic,

And several more on the day Pap died

when she couldn't let go.

Gently she passed it down

the table to my sister,

Passing a heirloom down

for her to safe keep,

As she touches the pearls

she sheds a few tears,

Jokingly she accepts and says,

"Thanks for passing the curse to me."

                  ~~Marie Schaeller, Spring 2012.

Reading the poem makes me think of that day and puts me back in Nana's cozy kitchen with the family gathered around.  Whenever I see my sister wear it, it makes me smile.  I'm grateful she passed our pieces to us while she was here to make that special memory with us.  

Nana knew how hard it would be when she passed on, and wrote personal letters to each of her children and grandchildren.  It felt like a sweet embrace from Nana at a time when I really needed it most.  She is missed greatly by my family and I.  Her legacy and the time she spent with all of us means the world.

April is also Poetry month, and I'm hoping to share more of my poetry before the month is over.  Writing is a way to connect with others and ourselves.  It is also a way that I document, cherish, and understand my world. 

If you can, pull your family in closer, relish your traditions, and make memories that last.